September 28, 2016

It’s A Boy!

by Scott Benson
[email protected]

I haven’t been this excited about a pregnancy since Murphy Brown went off the air. Can Dan Quayle be far behind? This one’s right up his alley.

The big day finally arrived for Tom Brady yesterday, as actress and former galpal Bridget Moynahan ended her strangehold on the AFC East divisional race by delivering the quarterback’s first child, a boy, in a California hospital.

Moynahan, who is clearly a Jets fan, had hoped to remain pregnant long enough to cause Brady to miss the season opener in New York on September 9th, which would have likely sent New England’s divisional hopes off the rails for good. At least that’s what I’ve been reading in the papers. Another Pats-tweaking scheme by the devious Eric Mangini? Was Teddy Atlas involved? Probably. Talk about tampering.

Anyway, congratulations to Tom, Bridget and son. Hey – what if Mangini tries to set up a baby shower in Santa Monica early next month? Don’t put it past him – he’s always thinking! Will coach Bill Belichick allow Brady to miss the game to be there when the gifts are opened? Isn’t it Tom’s call, really?

Alert Steve Buckley! This thing isn’t over, it’s just beginning!

In other news, the Pats sent punter Tom Malone packing yesterday, which means Danny (My Name Is Erle) Baugher has won the Patriots punting job. Ty (Long-Term) Warren came back to practice after hurting his elbow against Tampa. Albert Breer of the Herald has our Feature of the Day on the always entertaining (and seemingly overlooked so far) Mike Vrabel. For the rest of the morning’s headlines, check patriotslinks.com

Does the Patriots Pro Shop have little silver-somethings?

Let Man-genius know we’re on to him, here.

Comments

  1. Box Score says:

    It would not be the first time the dreaded “Jack & Jill” shower ruined the hopes, dreams, and spirits of NE sports fans.

    You are right too, Mangini is JUST that clever and know exactly what he will be getting Tom, Bridget, and the army of nanny’s: a Diaper Genius.

    It seems so right.

  2. He’ll get rid of Brady and then you know what Man-genius is going to do? He is going to RUN THE BALL, that’s what. He is going to RUN THE BALL down those stupid baby-making Patriots’ throats, and make off with the AFC East crown! He’s like a super-villain with his devious tricks on the hapless Belichick. When will his reign of terror end?

  3. By the way, Robert Kraft, that was gracious and everything, but no, it could NOT “happen to any one of us.” Blank was a dope for hitching his wagon to ANY child of Brenda Boddie, the Worst Mother In the World.

  4. If Deion Branch had been given the same amount of fanfare as this Brady Baby, we never would have been forced to trade him to Seattle.

  5. Post Pattern Depression says:

    How will the end of this pregnancy affect Tom? Will he be weepy? Will he never take off the baby weight?

  6. I like the name, “Tuck”.

  7. Dweeb Ewbank says:

    Has the shrieking started on EEI:

    WHOS GONNNA BE THE HOLDAH FAW GOSTAKROWSKI?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

  8. I wish we could run the ball. :(

  9. I’m shocked that no one here has mentioned the NY Giants helmet at practice yesterday. Could it be any clearer? It’s just another sign that Belichick is leaving for the Giants at the end of the season and is just flagrently taunting us all by putting it out there for all to see!!! Has he no shame?????

  10. jamesgarnerisgod says:

    First the man-bag, now being their for the birth of your son? What color panties you got on, fella? J/K. Congrats to Tom, as well as the hottest chick to ever come out of “Bongmeadow” (you’d have to have seen the oft-vandalized “Welcome to …” sign to fully appreciate that sophisticated jibe — delivered from a guy raised in “Barren” Mass.) Now, get to scraping those stem cells, everybody: I want a clone Brady army to take us from Super Bowls LX through C!

    Oh, yeah … Mike Vrabel still plays on this team, too.

  11. well, I guess this seals the deal on football analysis from Felger and Shaugnessy this year. If Brady has any sub-par games…”It’s because of the BAY-BEE!….”Tom’s got alot of things on his mind now”!….”Fatherhood is HUGE responceability!!”….Who knows how much this is affecting his game??!!”….

  12. Steve Buckley can go to h*ll!!!

Leave a Reply