October 1, 2016

On the matter of BRETT FAVRE

by Scott Benson
[email protected]

I’ve tried to turn a deaf ear towards most of this Favre foolishness over the past few weeks, but that’s been damn near impossible for someone cruising around the Internet in search of training camp news and notes from around the NFL.

So, like Robert DeNiro, I heard some things. A lot of things. Then, finally, it hit me, what this whole thing has been about all along.

Brett Favre doesn’t want to quit football. He never wanted to quit.

He just wanted to get the hell out of Green Bay.

Favre’s trying to run away from the Packers. He’s headed back there now to force them to trade him. He doesn’t want any part of Green Bay anymore, not if Mike McCarthy (and the man who hired him, Ted Thompson) is going to be there.

Truth is, Brett still wants to play, to have FUN, to be BRETT FAVRE, but he doesn’t want anybody telling him he has to study and prepare and carry out the game plan and use his check downs like a pussy, instead of chucking it, gunslinger style. Always asking if he’s looked at film. Film? You mean like Smokey and the Bandit? Ha! Brett wishes he’d saved that one for Madden, or maybe for a text to Peter King.

See, Brett’s always believed you didn’t need all that book learnin’ if you’re BRETT FAVRE. These new guys coming in here and bitching about not running the play they called – they piss Brett off. He’s not having any FUN. He (sniff) still wants to play but (sniff) he can’t do Monday through Saturday any more (sniff)……it’s the grind.

The grind. Meaning the time of the week he’s being COACHED.

If somebody would just pay Brett to show up and play on Sunday he’d play forever, but shucks, nobody’s going to do that, are they (eyes scan the room for the one guy saying “I could see the Vikings doing that…”)?

For somebody who’s waffled like Belgium for the last four years, seemingly never knowing what he wanted, I’m beginning to think that in this case Favre knew exactly what he was doing. Not at the first – he was just tired and cranky in the aftermath of the season, six months of these guys askin’ him “what’ll you do if this happens, what’ll you do if that happens,” like Brett’s supposed to know. BRETT FAVRE will cross that bridge when BRETT FAVRE comes to it, pally.

Besides, what did all this “preparation” stuff get BRETT FAVRE, anyway? Last season just ended like they all do – with another stupid, ballcrushing BRETT FAVRE interception. Big diff. And these guys think they’re smart. What is it with them? Didn’t they talk to Mike (“Whatever, Brett”) Sherman? No more. If Brett has to pay attention in meetings instead of making fart noises or just blowing the meeting off altogether, BRETT FAVRE quits.

That lasted just long enough for him to get home, where he quickly realized that as much as they’d like to, ESPN simply cannot suspend its regular programming to train its cameras on Brett 24 hour hours a day. It’s a short walk from there to Darren Bevell, his old pal from the Sherman days, and the pliable, desperate Brad Childress, who I’m certain both assured Brett they would do nothing to interfere with Brett’s FUN. Because that’s what this is all about. BRETT FAVRE having FUN.

He demands to be paid like a king without putting in one-tenth of the work and discipline that Tom Brady, Peyton Manning and just about everybody else accepts gladly, or at the very least begrudgingly. Not Favre. He’s exempt, because he’s BRETT FAVRE, and BRETT FAVRE has always done whatever the hell he felt like doing, and not a damn bit else, ever since Big Irv first spared the rod.

And now, to slack on the responsibilities he’s somehow managed to avoid since Mike Holmgren gave up on him, he’ll call in the chits from his cultivated cadre of media pals and make one of the NFL’s signature franchises – the Green Bay Packers, for crissakes – look like a bunch of fools. To escape the accountability he’s never accepted, he’ll ditch the town and the people that lionized him, because he’s lazy, and stubborn, and he’s such a self-centered boor that he wants to be celebrated for those things and not critiqued.

After all, he’s just like a kid, having fun out there. A spoiled rotten kid who’s become all too accustomed to HIS way.

Comments

  1. Nopointe says:

    he didn’t even know what a Nickel package was until his 2nd year in the league aww shucks

  2. Well said, Scott. I’ve read some of the coverage on Favre in a “car crash I can’t look away from” kind of way. It does seem like there are a few less people willing to excuse the selfish behavior that Favre has probably been exhibiting his whole career- as you said, it’s been obvious in his style of play for years now.

    Another aging superstar doing everything he can to destroy his own reputation with selfishness and stupidity.

  3. Jeffrey D says:

    I don´t know why… but in my opinion Favres the kind of guy that you hate one day, but then find yourself routing for him on another…

    I was so happy to see the Pats dismantle him a year and half ago. I was hoping that they could embarass him even more than they did…but, if he were to say throw an underhanded pass with 0:00 seconds on the clock against the Raiders or Cowboys.

    Well that day I´d be a fan.

    That´s the strange allure of of iconoclasism I suppose.

    Sometimes you´ll suppport the one you hate, if he turns out to be the lessor of two evils.

  4. A little advice: lock down your CAP LOCK key – capitalized words make you look like a thirteen-year-old boy on a sugar rush.

  5. A little advice for you, MarkB; not to dwell on how the sausage gets made around here, how about you check out a couple of other pieces I’ve written on this page and see if maybe the caps were a device for this piece specifically. If you missed the point, well, that’s show business.

  6. Strunk N. White says:

    I understood the CAPS. Well done. BRETT FAVRE is morphing into “Brett Favre” right before our eyes.

  7. I wonder if that’s what happened to ee cummings. I wonder if he started out as E.E. CUMMINGS and just devolved from that to E.E. Cummings all the way down to lower-case-no-punctuation ee. Did he retire from poetry once too often?

  8. I am having trouble with viewing this page in Firefox 3.0 on an Intel Mac. The near column on the right, with recent posts and links, bounces up and down and the page never loads.

    Also, it’s DeNiro.

  9. medphred says:

    Great post Scott. I know what the stats say but my eyes tell me that Brett is/was a good quarter, but not a great quarterback. If I list the top 5 QBs I’ve seen in the last I’m not sure he’s on the list. I must have missed the papal order canonizing him.

    BTW, “somebody who’s waffled like Belgium for the last four years” is a great line – kudos.

  10. Jason Coyote says:

    Scott, I believe once he found out he was a direct descendent of Mr. Cummings, CC Sabathia dropped the periods between his own initials to pay homage to his great granduncle.

    Thanks for that freshing perspective on Favre, which now has me convinced a straight-up 1-for-1 swap of Brett for Manny would’ve been totally even for both sides. One already shot his way out of Dodge and the other one is working on it. Both have also declared they cannot be bought off by a $20M “option”.

    No question Favre has the arm to be a decent outfielder, but can he hit a 95 mph fastball? Also not sure how well Manny could handle a pass rush, although he’d be great at Lambeau leapin’ every time he threw a touchdown pass.

  11. Rick, I’ll ask about those tech issues and see if there’s a solution. Also, spelling corrected at your suggestion.

  12. Nopointe says:

    we need to start a rumor that the Pats want to trade for Favre – there is no way Mangini could resist then

  13. I’ll put up a post tomorrow, Florio-style, saying that until the Packers trade him to the Vikings, there remains a possibility that Favre is trying to force a trade to the Patriots. Then we’ll e-mail a link to Gang Green. That ought to do it.

  14. Classless Concepts says:

    This is the best piece, hands down, written on FAVRE this year. It’s too bad nobody will take it seriously since you don’t text OMFG BRETT LOLZ!!! to him like Peter Pancake King does.

  15. http://highschool.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=825031

    Belichick recently had Piedmont coach Kurt Bryan in for a visit during a closed workout. Bryan did some advising as quarterbacks Tom Brady and Matt Cassell did some work together in a new formation. However, Belichick was said to not be pleased with how Cassell is handling his duties and is looking to bring in a veteran to team with Brady – possibly Brett Favre or Michael Bishop.

  16. Think about the Favre situation from the viewpoint of how can Goodell cause the most damage and the outcome is clear.

    He’ll broker a deal where Brett gets traded to the Vikings, BUT the trade won’t happen until after the Vikings opener at Green Bay.

    That way the Packers don’t have to deal with the “embarrassment” of Favre starting for the Vikings in their opener. Goodell gets to look like he did something in his King Solomonesque* way.

    That is about as disruptive an outcome I can think of.

    * in a lost Biblical book Goodell ordered the 2 mothers cut in half and stitched to each other so they could share the baby

  17. I can see that – what is less clear is how Goodell will work in his cocky, stride to the podium, “Awwwwwwllllllllriiiiiiiight Jets fans” routine in all of this. I believe that’s a requirement of any executive action during his administration.

  18. This guys act was old three years ago and the Packers are embaressing themselves in another off-season.

    I’ve never been a fan of BF and his act but I can’t argue with what he did in the mid to late 90’s yet I always thought there was a good reason he was a 3rd string ballboy with the Falcons. It’s because he is as dumb as his John Deere and Ron Wolff and Mike Holmgren put him in the right places at the right time. They are the geniuses to his career and now he’s flushing it down the crapper.

  19. Beautiful job of dismantling this preening fraud, Scott. Why hasnt something like this appeared in a national publication? Not as well expressed but at least the sentiment?

  20. Just coming around one more time on a victory lap. McCarthy is ready to let this guy walk back into camp and retake his starting job and all he wants to know if Brett is committed to studying hard and preparing and executing as he had done in 07. Brett’s response? He isn’t sure he can.

    He isn’t sure he can. No kidding.

  21. I guess what I’m saying is that I was the first to say he didn’t want to play for the Packers anymore because they make him work too hard. Now everybody’s saying it. Whatever.

  22. Looky Lou says:

    …….my own take on the matter of BRETT FAVRE is ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    (The situation, not your column Scott..lol)

Leave a Reply